I found out recently (within the last couple of months) that sleeping and dreaming is the best medicine for me. If I could be asleep 24/7 (but not die) I’d be hella happy. Like, I really feel joy as I get into bed, I can feel joy as I’m asleep! I really do feel good as I’m asleep and dreaming. It’s exciting being in my dreams - how I jump from dream sequence to dream sequence. How I can do and experience anything. Even when the dreams are disturbing, I enjoy them. I feel good and I think that is so interesting. It’s a sensation that I don’t usually have in waking life. REM sleep is my favorite place to be.
I feel soooo deeply about not taking psychotropic drugs, but I know that they do actually help me. I just don’t want them in my body, in my system, for some fucked up, nonsensical reason. I don’t like the idea that I need these little pills daily to make sure I function.
I’m a complexly fucked up person lol.
I just need to go fill my prescription and stop fucking around with my life.
Prozac is what I need.
It’s fucked up.